She will charm one more
instead this time, he will charm her
and perhaps they will watch
the sun till sunset.

Time and tide wait for no man.

Then why is it that we take so much pleasure in waiting, in procrastinating?

Maybe we feel that waiting gives us more courage? Or that the problems we need to solve will somehow solve themselves, although, upon introspection, we know that isn't true? Then it seems like the way to live life is to take a decision, and then fight with all our power to defend it, many times irrationally, and irrationality doesn't matter, especially if you're trying to convince another person what you're doing is right... as long as you gain a sense of command over the conversation, you've won in every naive spectator's eyes... whether you're being rational or not.

So when you get up everyday, how do you get up? There are days on which I groan, set the alarm for half an hour later, and go back to sleep. Even if I have to get up to change the alarm. And there are days when I've had more than sufficient sleep, and I get up quite easily... well, usually when this happens to me, it means I've overslept. But anyway. There are days when I over-oversleep and get up with a slight headache.
But most importantly, there are days when I wake up with a groan. I wake up with a groan, look at the clock and realize there's something I have to do today. Not immediately, perhaps, but I know that if I get up, I'll have an advantage getting started. So, despite all the rusty muscles in my body protesting, I get up, out of the bed, and push myself through. I get the triumphant feeling, then, of having defeated procrastination. And sometimes I think THOSE are the best days of my life.

Last night I walked on this street called Harris. I enjoyed walking down this street when I had time to go to campus, and when it was morning. The scenery would be awesome, and during the spring, trees would bloom. A very refreshing walk.
So I decided to walk that way at 3am last night. Because every path in my life, I've tried to choose. Or someone or the other has chosen for me. But this is something I can look back on and say, yes: I chose to walk that way, in the middle of the night, away from home, to campus and back, in almost total darkness. And the most important thing about this decision is that I don't have to explain myself to anyone. No one has to know why I did what I did. It's a decision that's inherently mine, and no matter how illogical walking alone away from home on a poorly lit road for an hour may seem to anyone else, I should be proud of it. For I chose to do that, alone, outside anyone else's influence.

Reverie

Walking back
Blue Moon was shining bright
not shy of her scars
Sharp as a quarter coin
The morning star waltzing next to her diminished
as she stood proudly
shining bright
And I stopped and stared amazed at her grace
Alone against inky black resolute
Beheld her white gown
and an aura larger than life
I stopped, as if I had never seen her before
As if I had never seen the moon
contrasted against the inky cloudy black sky
as if she were coming closer to her mother
smiling
and I smiled back
And wondered why I hadn't bothered
to look at her beauty before
at the beauty of what I had already seen
and not remembered
and why I didn't stop
but I stopped for once
balanced
and stared
and I promised myself I'd never forget
I turned around and walked away,
for I had just stared at her
Forever.

A whole new world

Well, I don't call myself a regular blog reader...though I have taken to reading friends' blogs recently. So I think I'm going to give this my best shot. And feel free to judge my thoughts.

Maybe a little background...I'm a college student studying in the US, but I'm from India...well, I lived in Dubai, UAE for the most part...but I'm originally from India. While I don't really consider myself a geek, I do tend to use the computer way more than is good for me, and I AM studying computer engineering, and I DO read sci-fi...but don't be too quick to judge! If there's anything I've learned over my college life, it's that stereotypes are misleading.

I prefer chilling with friends at Starbucks on a Friday night, or watching a movie, or just hanging around talking at 3am in the morning, knowing we've just killed enough time to make us slog our asses off for the rest of the weekend and still not finish all our work for Monday...but forgetting that blissfully, and looking up at the inky starry sky, and laughing at the smaller, "less important" issues in life. That does tend to be difficult at times...there are times when I cannot stand being with people who make jokes every two minutes...in fact, that's kind of how the end of this semester was for me. But that's how I like to think of me, and that's how I like to be most of the time.

In fact my friends (and not-so-friends :( ...I hate losing friends, and I hate having enemies...both find a way to stick in my mind...one way or the other) will be quick to point out here that I think too much and too deep! Almost like a woman. Of course, nowhere near as accurately, most of the time. Yes, as far as hanging out goes, I am (probably) still a very serious and quiet guy...but don't get me wrong. I like to listen, but I don't consider myself very good (tactful?) at speaking, so I usually avoid it (I think I can confidently make a speech impromptu...but that's a different skill). Sometimes I wonder if all my troubles are simply because I fear the unknown (If you can't understand why I suddenly brought that up here, then I apologize).

Some other facts...if you speak to me, it's more likely than not I'll tell you I wasn't listening or I couldn't hear you. That doesn't mean I'm being rude or stupid, it means you should take what I said no-nonsense and repeat what you just said :P And while I have opinions on a lot of stuff, I've found that no matter how hard I try to keep up with daily issues, people will always end up asking my opinion on something I just don't know about in front of a bunch of other people (and more likely than not, whose names I've already blissfully forgotten).

Well, there's more rants to come :) wow, I enjoy doing this...but for now, I've got to clean up my apartment...so I hope I've painted an honest enough picture of myself here.